Behind the Chair: Taking Care of Our Minds (and Everything That Comes With It)
There was a time in my life when therapy felt like something being done to me, not something I chose.
I was young, my parents had divorced, and sitting in an office talking about my feelings wasn’t exactly how I wanted to spend my time. It felt uncomfortable. Forced. Like something was “wrong with me.”
And for a long time, I carried that with me.
But somewhere along the way—through growing up, through relationships, through becoming a mom—I started to see it differently.
Now? I honestly think taking care of your mental health should be as normal as going to the dentist. Maybe even more so.
What Therapy Actually Looked Like for Me
It wasn’t just one thing.
It looked like sitting across from a therapist trying to figure out how to put feelings into words without just sharing the “good” parts.
It looked like group rooms where people shared stories that sounded a little too familiar—loving someone struggling with addiction, learning how to detach with love, realizing you’re not the only one carrying something heavy.
It looked like learning how to:
communicate with difficult people without losing who I was
express emotions instead of bottling them up
set boundaries (and actually stick to them)
stop trying to manage everyone else’s behavior
And maybe the biggest one…
learning that I didn’t have to keep proving I was “good enough” to be loved.
The People-Pleasing Pattern
If you grew up feeling like you had to be the calm one, the responsible one, the easy one… you probably get it.
I was the oldest daughter.
I moved a lot.
I saw and heard things kids shouldn’t have to carry.
And without even realizing it, I became someone who:
kept the peace mostly
held secrets
tried to be perfect so everything else wouldn’t fall apart
That doesn’t just go away when you become an adult.
It shows up in your relationships.
In your friendships.
In how you parent your own kids.
And at some point, I had to ask myself:
Do I want to keep living like this—or do I want something different for my family?
What Healing Actually Looks Like (It’s Not Just Therapy)
Therapy is a part of it—but it’s not the only way.
Taking care of your mind can look like:
talking to someone who gets it
sitting in a group where you feel seen instead of judged
going on a walk and finally letting your thoughts settle
moving your body and releasing stress you didn’t even realize you were holding
listening to a podcast that makes you feel less alone
putting your phone down and getting out of the constant noise
It’s not always deep conversations and breakthroughs.
Sometimes it’s just choosing yourself in small, quiet ways.
Caring Less (In the Best Way)
One of the biggest shifts for me was realizing:
I needed to care less about what everyone else was doing, thinking, or saying…
and more about what my life looked like.
Where it was going.
What I was allowing.
What I was modeling for my kids.
Because at the end of the day, boundaries aren’t about shutting people out.
They’re about protecting what matters most.
Changing the Narrative Around Therapy
There used to be this idea that you only went to therapy if something was wrong with you.
Now I see it completely differently.
Therapy isn’t about being broken.
It’s about being aware.
It’s about learning how to:
show up better
communicate clearly
break patterns you didn’t choose
and give your kids something healthier than maybe what you went through
Honestly?
It should be something we’re introduced to early—not as a last resort, but as a life skill.
If You’ve Ever Felt This Too…
If you’ve ever felt:
overwhelmed by other people’s emotions
responsible for keeping everything together
unsure how to say what you actually feel
guilty for needing space or boundaries
You’re not the only one.
And you’re not “too much” or “too sensitive” or “doing it wrong.”
You’re just learning.
The Ongoing Work
I still go.
I still learn.
I still catch myself slipping into old patterns sometimes.
But now I notice it faster.
I pause more.
I choose differently.
And that, to me, is what growth actually looks like.
Not perfection.
Just awareness—and the willingness to keep going.
Heather xo
